I’m Leslie, and there is one thing I know for sure…
Being a mom is hands down one of the best gifts and roles I have ever received and simultaneously the hardest thing I have ever done.
Mama, I see you.
I see all the time (or lack there of), sacrifice, confusion and exhaustion in your eyes. I see you looking around and wondering what it is that you are doing wrong and why does every other mom seem to being doing it perfectly. I hear you asking yourself, “Am I the only one struggling this much?” I sense the worry that maybe you are screwing up your kids for good and the thought, “Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mom after all.”
I know this because I was there.
When my son Maddox was born, it was the moment everyone talks about…the sky opens, light pours in and angels sing…it was bliss, magic and ecstacy the first few days, weeks and months…but soon I started to feel differently. I started to feel really lonely, isolated (like, I couldn’t really talk about how I was feeling), resentful towards my partner, and angry.
For a long time I couldn’t put language around what I was experiencing. I looked to mom blogs, fellow mothers and when I explained they all said, “yeah me too” but it ended there. I looked up the symptoms of Post-Partum Depression/Anxiety…I didn’t quite fit in there. So I just kept quiet about my struggles.
The quieter I became, the louder the anger, resentment and worst of all, the shame got. Every time I got angry and reacted towards my son or my partner it became evidence that I was in fact, A BAD MOM.
Then I woke up one day and thought to myself…”I can’t be the only one that feels this way.” I can’t be the only one that is bored, frustrated and grieving the loss of my kid free life. So, I started speaking up, speaking out and asking other moms about their experience.
You know what?? I was right (and it felt damn good)! Every mom I spoke to said felt the same way…different degrees of feeling but the range of emotion was there. They felt joy and also anger. They both loved and hated their kids. The felt grateful and also resentful. They all grieved the loss of so many things.
It was this realization that made me want to shift careers and support women in their transition to motherhood.
I believe that motherhood is the biggest transformation a woman can go through.
Our society puts a disproportionate focus on the joy, growth, love and expansion that takes place in motherhood and very little on how women experience this complete change of identity. In order for change to take place, you have to let something go…and for women who enter motherhood what typically goes is any resemblance of who they are, their relationship to time (days are long, years are short), getting their needs met.
So when mothers feel anything outside of what society has deemed appropriate to share they try to bury the darker emotions of parenting and we all know that shame loves when we are silent. Shame loves when we don’t speak its name, when we silence parts of ourselves.
You matter! What you are going through matters. You are not alone.
It doesn’t matter if you have been a mom for 1 day, 1 month, 6 months or 6 years...your role as a mother is so important and I know first hand it is easy for this role to feel demanding, unrewarding and sometimes unwanted.
Although, I make no promises to make the hard parts of motherhood to go away, I do make a commitment to support you as you adjust to the new you in a way that gives you, your life back.
That may sound like a big commitment, but it is totally possible! I care so deeply about this work because the work you are doing as mother is so so so important. You are raising the next generation of lovers, warriors, change makers, politicians, school teachers, policemen/women…it is hard work and you deserve to have time for you guilt free. You deserve to KNOW that YOU ARE A BADASS MOM.
I would love to support you! I offer free connection calls to further discuss what working with me looks like! You can schedule one below.
If you want to know a little more of what it would like to coach with me, head on over to my ‘work with me page’. I go into detail about what it looks like and all the possibility that opens up.
Let me support you. You don’t have to do it alone. I will be there to cheer you on the whole way. You won’t regret it.