I wanted to talk on radical responsibility when it comes to owning your story.
The act of owning your story and taking radical responsibility is cultivating a willingness to be all of who you are. And that my friends is scary AF.
To be whole, you have to bring ALL of your stuff to the table. You have to bring the crazy, the good, the bad, the ugly and you have to learn to love (or at least appreciate it) it all, because it has all served you in some way. It has protected you from getting hurt, kept you alive, and brought you to where you are today.
Let us talk about radical responsibility. This type of responsibility is where you own ALL OF YOUR SHIT. It is where you stop waiting for someone or something to save you, you roll up your sleeves and you start wading into the water.
The opposite of what Disney movies would like us to believe is true, that no one is coming to rescue you. No one can unlock the magic and gifts life has for you, except you. You are the one you have been waiting for. It is much easier to blame the people around us for where we are unhappy and wait for our savior to come and whisk us on to their white horse and ride off into the sunset.
Friend, YOU ARE YOUR RESCUER. You can save yourself.
You are the only one that can change your life.
The deal is, you have the strength, the power, the ability to save yourself.
Years ago, I was in a really unhealthy, toxic relationship. I had never really dated anyone before and so the dynamics of a relationship were very new to me. At that time in my life, I was meek, very insecure and never really stood up for myself. Fast Forward to after the break up, that involved a rescue from my dad, I was reading a book and in the book there was a list on identifying abusive relationships, I checked off every single box except for the ones that applied to having kids, this was 3 months after the relationship ended that I realized I was in an abusive relationship.
One of the big healings for me, was owning my part in being in that relationship. I wanted to play the victim. It wasn’t me, manipulating, hitting, hair pulling or throwing dishes at myself…however it was me who chose to stay. Yes I was scared to leave, the manipulation was deep. However, I chose to stay. I chose to believe what the person said. It was easier/safer for me to stay in that abusive relationship then face the unknown of leaving. That was a choice. It was easier to stay until it wasn’t, until it got so bad that I was done….then I made the choice, to leave. For so long I chose the comfort of my current pain, fear and insecurities…there was lot in that abusive relationship that served me, that kept me safe, protected me etc...Until I was willing to risk the current comfort for the potential pain of the unknown.
LET ME BE VERY VERY CLEAR ABOUT SOMETHING! Taking radical responsibility DOES NOT EXCUSE someones behavior towards you. It is also no diminishing your feelings and experiences either.
Taking responsibility is saying I am making the choice to participate in my healing no matter what the other person has done to me.
Taking responsibility is saying YES to YOUR WORTH. It is saying that I may not feel worthy of my seat at the table, but I am going to take it anyway and unlearn everything that makes me feel like I don’t belong at the table.
Taking responsibility is agreeing that you can’t control others but you can control you. It’s owning your needs, wants and taking conscious action towards living a life that gives you life.
There is a worksheet at the bottom of this post that starts you on the journey toward radical responsibility.
It is an opportunity to bring awareness to your story and begin taking conscious action towards living a life that feels right to you!